I want to be a professional barrel racer. I am in college right now starting my career that will fund it. So I have the first step down. I have multiple things stalling me and I'm going to just put this out there. My weight from my youngest baby. I recently bought myself a Fitbit and I'm trying to hit my goals and better manage my intake. I have the fastest horse I've ever thrown a leg over and I cannot let her open up something inside of me chokes. One time we she was probably 3 or 4 she turned around and bolted with me and headed back home that's how I know she's the fastest I have ever ridden. It was amazing! I feel like it was my time out of the saddle and just away from my horses raising my family and no longer being around them and riding or training in some fashion nearly everyday that I'm rusty and feel out of place like it's no longer that familiar territory if that makes sense? Another block is my family who laughs at my dreams because I have 6 kids. They tell me my dreams died when I had them. They tell me that my time was in 4-H and it isn't something realistic anymore. I have to say back in 4-H I worked very hard to become the team to lookout for and we accomplished many things. So it not that I don't have the ability. They say my priorities are my children and that I need to give it up but why? Why do I need to give up the one thing that defines my very existence outside of my children? Horses have been everything to me from as far back as I can remember and from what I've heard, even younger than that. These things have had me in a depressed funk and I need to shake it and make time for me and my horses. I even bred my good mare and now have a 2 year old that I would like to futurity as a 5 year old even though I have no idea how to do it this will be my first time. I cannot be stalled anymore. In the last year my other half and I both lost our person his being his sister and mine my Nana. Being there for their passing was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. It changed me forever. All I listen to is gospel and Christian music now. My relationship with God is growing and I'm slowly navigating how to go about it. I won a Stall High cap and I felt that it was a sign for me to keep pushing. I'm thankful this community was brought to my attention this year though I cannot afford the interactive membership I am grateful for this month of it. I need positive people in my corner. I have so many things to overcome. I'm tired of being stalled. @Stall Talk @Kendra
Posted by Hoofbeats24 at 2022-12-19 18:33:18 UTC